They Raided My Cabinets!
by halfbloodllama
Summary: Well, this sucks. The Invader Zim cast is in my house. Living with me. AND THEY'RE TAKING ALL OUR FOOD! No pairings. Rated T for some language.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N): So, my first story. Heh. I'm nervous and I don't know why… okay, I do know why. Well how about we get on with the story, hm? :D**

The first day of school.

The day I, and probably everyone, dreads. I looked up at the clock. Just a few more minutes till I can leave this hell.

"Zoe, can you solve this?" The voice snapped me out of my dreading. Дерьмо.I just looked at her. The teacher glared at me, the walked over to my desk. "Pay. Attention." I heard a few snickers. Thanks a lot, сука. Damn, I really need to stop cursing in Russian. It's addicting though!

As I heard the bell ring, I got up and raced for the door. I ran down the hall to my locker and grabbed my stuff, then ran to my bus. At least I was the first to get off.

When I got off the bus, I ran to my door. It took a while to unlock though because I kept dropping the keys due to trying to get in _as fast _as possible. When I finally _did_ open the door, my goat was trashing everything.

Why did I keep that thing inside? Oh well.

"Marcie! STOP! I have clean up after you, ya know?" she looked up at me, then fell over asleep. Or at least trying to go to sleep. "You evil goat." I pushed her over into a corner, and began to clean. An hour or so later, I ran up my stairs, fed my Corn snake, took off my shoes, then plopped on my bed. "At least this day is over with." I thought out loud. "Roxy! ROXY!" Seconds later, I heard big paws running up my stairs, then she ran in and jumped on me and licked my face. Roxy was a BIIGGGG Black Labrador, but she was still sweet. She curled up next to me and we both drift off to sleep.

First came a loud BOOM! My head popped off my pillow, and still half asleep, I looked around, and then I saw it. A black hole? I don't even know! Well at least I think I know what woke me up now. "What happened?!" my brother came running in, but just stared in shock at what he was , one by one, they stepped out of the "portal".

"ебать?!"

**And that's all for this chapter! If you would like me to continue, please review! And go easy on me because this is my first story. This was a kinda short chapter, I think? I dunno. :P**


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N): Welp, here is the second chapter! Yayz? I promise next one will be longer. :D I write these, publish them, then they're much shorter looking then when I first type them...**

After that, I think I fainted.

When I finally came to, it was dark outside. "How long was I out?" I ran down my stairs to my brother, who was fighting Marcie off with a bat. "Bad goat! BAD! Why do we keep this thing?!" I shrugged. "Do you remember a black hole, or am I going insane?" My brother stopped for a second. "Oh yeah. Well I ran downstairs in a panic attack, tripped, then fell asleep there." He explained. "But I don't know where the Invader Zim characters we- HOLY ДЕРЬМО! BAD GOAT!" I backed away, then headed to my kitchen. When I opened my cabinet, it was _completely _empty and a certain metal robot was wolfing down 10 cookies at a time. I slipped and tried to scramble to my feet but I think I went into shock. I _finally_ got up and looked at him again. But he was gone. Crap.

I ran around the house until I collapsed on the couch. Well, this sucks. I have the Invader Zim cast running around my house, and taking my food. Where did my brother go? No. This can't be. I'M DREAMING AGAIN! I pinched my arm to make sure it was happening. Yup. It was real. My brother walked in wrapped in a towel. "Hey, what did I miss?" he looked at me. I stared at him. "Daniel, you took A SHOWER?!" He held up his hands in defense. "I thought this was a free country.." I glared at him, then got up. "Get **dressed**, then come and help me find them!" I continued to search every room, basket, cabinet, and every other thing you can imagine. I found Dib, Zim, and GIR. But no sign of Gaz. Daniel then walked in. "No sign of- How freaking long has she been sitting there, lazy ass?" When I turned around, Gaz was sitting on the couch. Playing her Game Slave.

How long had she been there?!

I turned back to him. "I don't know. I really don't." We just sat there in akward silence for a while, until we heard loud banging. "LET ME OUT, INFERIOR HYOOMANS! I WILL RULE YOU ALL ONE DAY, THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY!" Zim was getting impatient. I don't blame him, he was shoved into a kennel. But he was in Roxy's, so he'll be fine..? "Yeah, let us out! And why does my cage smell like a goat?" And now Dib was getting impatient. How wonderful. Well, we have them all now so I guess we can let them out. We let Zim and Dib out, but still kept GIR tied down in my Corn snake's little glass home. There is _NO _telling what he would do once let out. Probably eat everything.. "Who are you? And where are we?" Dib interrupted my thoughts. "Well, my name is Zoe, and this Daniel." GIR tried to wave at us, but we had his arms tied down.

"And you're in our home!"

**And there is chapter 2! You have no IDEA how long this took to write. Review and tell if you think this was longer and better! :DDDD**


	3. Chapter 3

**(A/N): OMGZ, LIKE MY THIRD CHAPTER! :D Thank you peoplez who left reviews! I'm _pretty_ sure I've got the mistakes down, so hopefully this chapter _shall be better!_**

"What?!" Dib's eyes bugged out of his head. "YOU KIDNAPPED US!"

"No! I didn't. You kinda.. uh.." Zoe trailed off, thinking about if it would be a _good_ idea to tell them that they "magically came through a black hole that appeared from god-knows-where."

"Whatever, but I still wanna get out of this place. It's a junkhole!"

"Я собираюсь убить этого козла и служить его на День Благодарения."

Well, Dib forgot about asking me how they got here, so thats good?

GIR began to yell about how they probably got here by cheese. Where did that even come from?

Classic GIR. Dib was also asking me what I just said. I love confusing people with Russian.

Later, me and Daniel were having trouble deciding where the heck they were going to sleep.

But we came up with a plan.

Since we can pop the top of Roxy's kennel, we can make a nice little bed for GIR using excess fabric from my sewing machine.

We have a spare bedroom in the back, so we could stuff the rest in there.

After I got out of my day clothes, I slipped into a clean pair of pajamas. Then Dib popped his head in.

"Um, excuse me. I'm not sure if its a great idea to share a room with Zim."

I looked at him. "Sorry, but its all we got." I changed my mind a few hours later, because they wouldn't shut the hell up.

Why me?

I just let Zim sleep in the living room.

The next morning, Zim was up at 3:00 am.

Why the fuck was he up so early?...

To make it _sooo_ much better, he was screaming at GIR because he had eaten my favorite jeans.

Might as well fetch my bat.

OK, I would never beat GIR with a metal bat... he's too fricking cute.

Crap, I have to go to school. I'm uneasy about leaving them home alone..

Maybe Daniel can miss?.. no, he'd blow up the house like last time. He's not even a good babysitter.

The whole school day I walked around like a zombie.

I was deep in my thoughts about whats happening at the house..

**(Back at the house..)**

"OH MY GOD! ZIM, I NOW HAVE A DEEP HATRED FOR YOU!" Dib ran around in circles in the living room. An angry GIR followed.

"GIMMEH MAI PIGGEH BIG HEAD BOI!"

"I DON'T HAVE YOUR PIGGY!"

**YAYZ! IT OVER WITH! Also I wrote this in OpenOffice. (WHICH I AM NOT DOING ANYMORE) D':**


	4. Chapter 4

**(A/N): YESSS! MY WORD STARTER IS WORKING! (insert the face of awesomeness)**

Dib dodged another laser coming from GIR's eyes. Dib ran upstairs and ran into Zoe's bedroom, then grabbed her metal bat.

Dib then ran back downstairs, and beat GIR with it.

**(Back at school..)**

Nah.

Zoe slammed the door behind her, then ran into the living room. Everything looked fine.

Yeah right.

Zoe walked deeper into the living room. She turned, then say GIR sitting on Dib. Holding his piggy.

"HAI RED-HAIR LADIEH!" GIR jumped off of Dib, which he moaned at, then ran over and hugged her.

Zoe awkwardly pet him, then ran upstairs.

"WHO USED MY METAL BAT?!"

Dib sat up. "Oh crap.."

* * *

Zoe screamed.

"What happen- oh my god, Zoe." Daniel glared at her. "Stop playing that crack-high game."

"But it's so fun! And jump-scarey!" Zoe just stared hopefully at him.

"Get off the computer, Zoe."

Zoe just walked off. "Plus, Five Nights at Freddy's is not a crack-high game"

As Daniel grunted and walked off, GIR snuck in and began playing the game.

"I love this show!"

Zoe then jumped back in and watched GIR play, also giving him tips.

Daniel than ran in screaming, and proceeded to slap Zoe "THISGAMEISCRACKHIGHGETOFFRIGHTNOWBLAHBLAHBLAHIMSOSTUPID!"

Zoe almost had a heart attack

* * *

"Zoe."

"Mph.."

"ZOE."

"AWH GOD!"

Zoe jumped from her bed and stopped, dropped, and rolled. Daniel stared at her and snickered.

"Were you up all night playing that game?"

Zoe was just humming the Five Night's at Freddy's song.

"You need help." Daniel was about to walk off, then turned around. "By the way, I'm making breakfast. Whaddaya want?"

"I want you very far away."

Daniel held up his hands in defense, then ran downstairs.

"Why do I have the most hellish brother to exist?"

Zoe flopped face-first on her bed, and dozed off.

* * *

"ZOE GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE SHOWER IT'S 11:30 WE HAVE TO GO!"

Zoe hopped out of the bathroom. "Already done."

Daniel looked her up and down. "Alright. Now what are we going to do about the cast?"

Zoe thought for a moment. "Well, we can make Zim a disguise. And Dib and Gaz are fine. GIR can stay with you. In the car."

"WHAT?! I have to go inside!"

"Last time you went grocery shopping, you blew up the whole Quicky-Mart."

Daniel almost flashed her a bird, but she slapped him. "Now go make Zim a disguise."

"Why me?"

"Because you're more artistic then me."

He face palmed. That was truly the other way around.

His phone then buzzed. A text? No one ever texted him. Unless..

Oh hellz naw.

**(A/N): And there is your 4****th**** chapter. Deal with it. (insert face of TRUE boss)**

.


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N): We had a snow day today! YAY! So I wrote Chapter 5! :D**

Daniel felt like he was about to go into shock.

_Text from Dad:_

_Hey Daniel! I'm coming back from Germany, so I'll be home at about 3:00pm tomorrow. Tell Zoe!_

Daniel was tripping over himself trying to get to Zoe.

"ZOE ZOE ZOE ZOE ZOE –deep breath- ZOE ZOE ZOE ZO-" She slapped him.

"SHUT UP! Now tell me what the fuck is going on."

Daniel took deep breaths to calm himself down. He finally collected himself, then looked at her.

"It's dad. He's coming back from Germany!"

"This isn't another one of your dumb ass pranks, is it?"

"Nope!"

"We're fucked."

Daniel nodded. "So we have to do something about them!"

Zoe held up her hands. "Don't look at me!"

He growled. "I hate you."

Daniel ran back downstairs, then ran into GIR.

"HAI!"

He looked at GIR funny. "Hi?.."

Daniel picked GIR up, then proceeded to collect all of them one by one.

He chained them all to the couch, except for Zim. He then dragged Zim to the bathroom.

"UNHAND ME HUMAN OR FACE THE WRATH OF ZIM!"

"Shut up."

* * *

"Eww, I look like a human…?"

Zim had globs of unnatural looking skin color face paint smeared on him, he was wearing one of Daniel's old blue hoodies, and he had a blonde wig on.

Worst. Disguise. EVER.

"ZOE! We're ready to go!"

Zoe ran down the stairs and unchained the cast from the couch. She then ran out the door, with Daniel following.

Zoe jumped into the driver's seat, while Daniel loaded the cast into the back. He then plopped into the passenger's side.

"Zoe, you haven't even passed your driver's ed!"

She looked at him. "Fuck it, bro."

She started the car, then pulled out of the driveway. She speeded down the road at probably 80 mph. Dib was screaming his big head off.

"ZOE SLOW THE FUCKING FLIP DOWN!"

"Nope!"

She made a sharp turn, then parked the car at the Quicky Mart.

And of course, the car was parked where it was taking up two parking slots.

"Now wait in the car with GIR, and I'll take the rest inside."

Daniel said a short prayer. This wasn't gonna go smoothly.

* * *

"Zim, quit poking the people in front of us!"

They had just finished shopping, and were now in the check-out line.

"Thank you for shopping at Quicky Mart, $105.47 please."

Zoe's eyes almost bugged out of her head. "105 FUCKING BUCKS?!"

"Ma'am, there are children in the store. Please watch your language."

Я покажу вам язык!

Zoe pulled up her hoodie, then slapped the cashier. She ran out with her bags and the cast.

She then regretted quickly what she did.

**(A/N): And there is your 5****th**** chapter! I am now going to play in snow like a child. :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**(A/N): Sorry for the tiny delay! My dad has been very sick with cancer, and has been in and out of the hospital, and they think he is about to die soon... but enough about mez! Here is chapter 6!**

Zoe ran through the parking lot with Gaz, Dib, and Zim following.

Dib was screaming at Zoe. "Why did you do that?! You _knew_ that would get you in trouble!"

"Yeah, I knew! But I don't give a crap!"

Zoe swiftly chucked Dib through the backseat car window, then loaded Gaz and Zim in.

She then opened the car door and threw her bags at Daniel, hitting him in the face.

"OW!- Zoe what happened? You look worried.."

"Something we can discuss later!" Zoe then jumped into the driver's seat, and speeded down the road at about 100 miles this time.

"AWH FUCKKKKK!" Daniel was holding onto the seat for dear life.

Zoe swiftly pulled into their driveway. "Daniel, we HAVE to set up the cast and the house for when dad comes home tomorrow! Now get the cast out and I'll unload the groceries."

She picked the bags off of his lap, then ran inside. Daniel also began to get the cast out.

* * *

"Maria! Jacob! I'm home!"

"No no no no!" Zoe was getting worried because Dib wouldn't fit in her closet, and also because she remembered dad always used their first names.

Daniel came in her room in a panic attack. "Zoe, it's dad."

Oh god no. _PLEASE_ no!

Zoe gulped. "Ok."

She then got up and just stuffed Dib under her bed, and his head was still sticking out a lot.

"Maria! I missed you so much! You too, Jacob! How has sports been going?"

"Fine. But, can you just call me Daniel?"

"And please call me Zoe!"

Dad stared at them. "I'm afraid not! Those are your names."

Zoe stared at them with an expression saying _are you fucking serious? _"_Kellen_, we FUCKING HATE our real names! They suck like HELL!"

"ZOE! Do not use those words in my household!" He glared at them. "And never call me that wretched name!"

Zoe smirked. "Doesn't feel so good, hm?"

Their dad just puffed, and walked down the hallway to the master bedroom.

"Nice going, smart ass." Daniel said. "You know good and well that it never ends well when dad puffs. He is probably going to set the house on fire, lock us in, and run away to Texas."

Zoe just waved him off. Then her expression turned serious. "The cast!"

They both ran upstairs to Zoe's bedroom, but then stopped.

They closet was open, and the cast was gone.

Zoe slapped her forehead. "Dammit, Daniel!"

"What did I do?!"

**(A/N): Sorry if that chapter was short, I'm just stressing over my dad. And don't forget my literally 50 question homework pre-test… I now have a deep hatred for my teacher.**


	7. Chapter 7

**(A/N): I finally got off my lazy ass and wrote chapter 7. Be thankful I didn't wait till' after Christmas to publish this, cause then it would have never gotten done.**

"You do EVERYTHING!" Zoe slumped on her bed.

Daniel took a step back. He then carefully walked back up and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Take your fucking hand off my shoulder, or you won't have hands." Zoe looked at the hand on her shoulder and growled.

Daniel swiftly placed his hand to his side. It was common sense, people.

Zoe stood up. "We need to find the cast before-"

A girly scream interrupted them.

"Oh god no.."

They both raced down the stairs, only to find their dad being pinned by GIR.

"Dafuq?" Daniel ran over to him, and began to pry GIR off his chest.

"But I like smelly man!"

"But smelly man doesn't like you!" Daniel pulled harder.

"HEY! I'm not smelly."

After watching the sight for a few minutes, she finally ran down the hallway to the laundry room.

Zim was in the dryer, and across the hallway, Gaz was sitting on the master bed playing her game slave.

Zoe opened the dryer door, and Zim rolled out.

"Is he dead? Did I seriously fucking kill him ALREADY?"

Zim moaned, which made Zoe sigh in relief. She then picked him up and let Gaz be. She probably wasn't going to cause much harm…

Now she had to find Dib.

Daniel had just pried GIR off of his dad, when GIR latched onto his face.

"ZOE! HELP ME! I CAN'T BREATHE!"

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Then how are you talking?"

Daniel stopped and thought about that for a second.

"I don't have time for this, Daniel." She then ran upstairs to find Dib.

**(A/N): Short chapter of doom. Stay peaceful my llamas. That is really cheesy. I like cheese. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**(A/N): I've ran out of things to say. Just read the chapter. Also sorry if this chapter is short, it probably is. BUT WE WILL LIVE ANOTHER DAY!**

Zoe grabbed the first aid kit and began to pull out the bandages.

"Zim, don't go into the light!"

"What light are you talking about stink beast?"

Zoe sighed. "Nevermind.."

She began to wrap a bandage around his arm, then slid the first aid kit under her bed. She laid Zim across her bed.

"Now stay here and get some rest, if you even sleep. I'm going back downstairs to find Dib."

Zoe ran back downstairs, only to find her dad gone.

"Dad?..." She looked around and noticed the weapon closet was open.

"Shit."

She ran down the hallway to her dad pinning Dib down with a pistol.

"DAD! STOP!"

He looked at Zoe and held his hand up. "No, you stop. I'm going to take care of this."

Dib looked at her. "Help me!"

Zoe grabbed the pistol and pinned down her dad. She put the gun to his head and put her face next to his.

"Listen to me," she whispered. "You're going to put down the gun. You're going to walk out the door and out of my life. You are NOT going to kill my favorite cartoon."

She heard her dad whine, and she got up and dropped the gun. She then pointed to the door.

"Zoe-"

"Go."

"Zoe, listen to me-"

"GO!"

He walked down the hallway and stopped. He looked back at her, then continued to walk until he walked out of the door. Marcie also head butted him and made him fall face first on the concrete.

"Thank you.." Dib said behind her.

"You are very welcome- wait.."

Zoe slowly walked over to the master bedroom door. She twisted the knob.

Locked.

"SHIT!"

She banged on the door. "GAZ ANSWER ME!" She ran over to the weapon closet and grabbed the knife. She slowly carved a hole big enough to see through on the wooden door and peeked inside.

Gaz laid there. She had a wound on her shoulder, probably where dad shot her. She still appeared to be breathing.

"No no no no!" Zoe tried to kick the door down, but it was no use. Dad had probably took the key with him.

Then she had an idea.

**(A/N): Do not worry, Gaz is not going to die or anything! I promise.**


	9. Chapter 9

**(A/N): Llama poo… I'm so sorry.**

Zoe ran over to the kitchen and pulled open the junk drawer. She found a paperclip and began undoing it. She then ran back up to the door and unlocked it.

"Gaz! How many fingers am I holding up?"

"45."

"No, it's 3. You need medical attention, but I can't take you to a hospital!" Zoe picked up Gaz and hopped out of the bedroom.

"But the bean monkeys, they- ugh…" Gaz flopped over.

"You are delusional and we need to stop the bleeding." She ran back upstairs and grabbed the first aid kit.

"I hope whatever is in here works…"

She unloaded the contents and grabbed multiple things. She began wiping on medicine and adding bandages and other shit like that. When she had done everything she could think of with the wound, she laid Gaz across the blow up mattress.

Zoe then checked up on Zim to see if he was okay, then went back downstairs to see if anything was wrong with Dib.

"Is Gaz fine?" Dib said looking at the place where she was shot.

"Yeah, yeah, she's fine. I think…"

"You think?" Dib looked at her worriedly.

"NEVERMIND! Now, is anything wrong with you? Any burns, cuts, bruises?"

"No, I don't think so…" He was looking himself up and down.

"Man, couldn't have dad shot you instead?" Zoe said to herself while walking out.

"HEY!" Dib screamed.

* * *

Zoe was forced to sleep next to Zim, because he refused to move his big ass. She had told him he had an attitude problem, but he said that "I don't have an attitude problem, you have a problem with my attitude and that's not my problem."

Fuck him.

She rolled over so she wouldn't have to smell dried up alien blood. It really stunk, not only that but not being able to sleep by herself _in her own bed._ Zoe tried to drift off, but the aroma of alien blood filled the air in her bedroom. If only Gaz would say something… that would surely scare him enough to move rooms? Maybe, she didn't know.

Zoe was sitting there thinking, until something caught her attention. A portrait.

Of her mom.

Zoe sighed, then quietly got up. She tip toed over to the picture. The framed was engraved with the name:

_Kylie Grace Jacobs_

She then tip toed back over to the bed and quietly slipped in. Now her head was filled with thoughts of her mom. The news they got that day, of her being murdered in the alleyway feet from the house.

Zoe sighed again as a tear rolled down her cheek.

She was that close to safety.

But that man ruined it.

**(A/N): Yay sad-ish chapter! This chapter (as you might have noticed) had no Daniel! It was kinda an all Zoe chapter, oh well. More is coming your way, right here on fanfiction. Stay tuned! :D**


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